ZThemes

molebucks:

lovely-dna:

molebucks:

treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me

no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry

*4-second-long fart noise*


[source]
[source]

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

religiousdad:

no homo for me, thanks. i couldn’t eat another bite

A blowjob isn’t given with your mouth, it’s given with your heart

( My boyfriend trying to get head (via marrowack) )

looseferrets:

Sabrina the Teenage Witch is an expert at counter-spells. 

x

amerlcanapparel:

have you ever been so attracted to someone that every little thing they do kills you because they’re so cute but it also kills you because you can’t be with them

colchrishadfield:

People ask to see stars - my camera does its best in dim light. Our atmosphere glows in the dark.

colchrishadfield:

People ask to see stars - my camera does its best in dim light. Our atmosphere glows in the dark.

emobaria:

April 2013——>April 2014 
what the hell happened

emobaria:

April 2013——>April 2014 
what the hell happened

emobaria:

Yall are boring and nobody’s touching my dick I am so done with today already

jesusinc:

dick longer than 2009 msn bios